Song playing is "Don't Want To Lose You " By Gloria Estefan
I didn't think much about it ~ until my son was killed
The lessons I was learning ~ was usually no big deal
Until faced with the death of Jasper ~ I didn't question why
I lived from day to day  ~ watching life just pass me by
I was going through life's tribulations ~  just trying to get along
I believed my life's true lessons ~ were situations out of my control
But that was only the beginning of my future ~ laced with sorrow and pain
The worst years of my life were behind me ~ or so I innocently thought
I found out from my caring husband Greg ~ I shouldn't have suffered at all
I need not live life on the outside ~ I was worthy of his love
I finally figured it out ~ I made the mistake of marrying too young
I was learning how to live ~ life was treating me very good
I was able to make it in the job market ~ I wasn't as helpless as I've been told
My life was turning out great ~ I was getting closer to my oldest son
I didn't know it then ~ but I was taking a turn for the worse
The next lesson I learned in life ~ was the saddest lesson of all
My youngest son was suddenly killed ~ I had to take the fall
It's been 1 year and 4 months ~ since my son left me alone
The last words he said to me were ~ "Bye, I love you, Mom"
My life was turned upside down ~ I couldn't come up for air
I didn't know which way to turn ~ I'm glad Michelle was there
God always makes good his promises ~ he goes about it in different ways
He said to believe in him ~ we would then see better days
My days have been foggy lately ~ my nights have been a nightmare
My precious son was taken from me ~ to some place a long, long way from here

I opened my eyes one morning ~ with a smile upon my face
I can't describe the feeling ~ I can't describe the place
It was something I felt deep inside ~ Jasper was now at peace
I then began to wonder ~ if this was anything about me
Jasper was the one who had suffered ~ or did he suffer at that tree
I started writing this poem ~ to reflect back on lessons I should have learned
I learned this lesson wasn't all about me ~ but was also about my youngest son
I was looking at this the wrong  way ~ I was feeling sorry for myself
Jasper was graciously taken to Heaven ~  this lesson was for both our benefits
He was where God always wanted him ~ he can never be denied
It was truly a badge of honor ~ the highest honor Jasper could have
God was doing him a favor ~ by taking him out of this place
It was not on the spur of the moment ~ God planned this from the beginning of time

Jasper doesn't have any worries ~  he's living in perfect splendor
He doesn't worry about drunk drivers ~ or that he's out after curfew
He can party all night with his friends ~ or go swimming everyday
He doesn't have to worry ~ or even have to pay
He can visit with everybody ~ he can talk about anything
If I truly know my Jasper ~ he's visiting with President Kennedy
He'll probably recall the time ~ he put in a phone call to Mr. Bill Clinton
He'll ask him about the early sixties ~ he'll flash him that famous peace sign
He'll even ask him about Marilyn ~ just to tease him for awhile
I know he'll seek out Jerry Garcia ~ he was head of the Grateful Dead Band
He'll even look up Josh's Dad ~ to tell him Josh needs a little help
Jasper is watching over us all ~ even whispering in our ear
And telling us to hold on tight ~ for someday we will all be there
He was really something special ~ but taken way too fast
Even though I want Jasper here ~  God knows what's for the best
I finally can understand ~ what it means for his spirit to soar
Jasper left his earthly body ~ now his soul stands for so much more
I want to be happy for him ~ he hasn't a care in the world
God knew this all along ~ I guess I misunderstood

The lesson I learned thus far ~ there are no guarantees on earth
God might call you home ~ even before your birth
I find this hard to say ~ please don't take this personally
God always has the final word ~ he's doing this for you and me
Jasper is now very much in our God's hands ~ he was there even before his birth
I miss him so very much ~ and I'm proud of the good he's done here on earth
His friends all stood behind him ~ they know drinking and driving is bad
They even drive a little slower ~ on that dreaded road, Cliff Drive
So Jasper,  your time on earth and lessons ~ they both went very well
You left us all with your legacy ~ only time will tell
Your purpose on earth is done ~ I'll sum it up with these few words
This is something I found on the net ~ I hope it will touch your heart like it did mine

"Life will not go on in the same way without you
If it were the same, we could only conclude your life meant nothing,
made no contribution
The fact that you left behind a place that cannot be filled
Is a high tribute to the uniqueness of your soul"

I miss you, Jasper
Written by Susie Cross
June 26, 2000
Another June without Jasper

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