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My Life Went On
(Four Years After)

My life went on ~ but not like before
It's been four long years  ~ somehow I was able to endure

The world didn't stop ~ though my teardrops they still fall
I've tried to get my breath ~ it's a wonder I lived at all

February 11th will always be ~ truly engraved into my soul
It's the day that changed forever ~ everything that I've been told

If I could have somehow foreseen ~ what I am painfully forced to know
I wouldn't have made it this far ~ I would have given up long ago

But somehow deep inside my pain ~ I found the courage to carry on
It was hidden within my broken heart ~ I think you helped me find it son

I didn't realize I had it ~ I was weak and so distraught
Til you showed me the path I needed to take ~ and gave me the strength to carry on

Was it the memory of your sweet baby breath ~ that still fills my senses so
Or was it those wonderful Jasper smiles you gave ~ so very long ago

Perhaps it showed through your loved one's tears ~ there on your burying day
The grief I saw in their own teardrops  ~ touched me more than I can say

I saw a glimpse of your many deeds ~ reflected in their sorrow filled sad eyes
I saw the love you had given them ~ when they turned and gave their sighs

I felt the adoration in your sisters heart ~ when she talks about her brother
I sense the affection that she still feels now ~ even though you argued often

I see the resemblance in my grandchildren's eyes ~ that reflects from your very soul
Were you able to whisper in their ear ~ and tell them what they need to know

I still have many doubts, my son ~ I still have all this pain
But somehow it has lessened ~ into a life-long dull throbbing ache

For I feel your presence everywhere ~ even on my way to work
I can hear your sunny laughter ~ through Baby Jasper's cheerful talk

I can see your smiling friendly face ~ even out in the Christmas crowd
I still hear your voice echoing within me ~ when no one is around

Your telling me my precious son ~ what my heart already knew
That you've never ever left my side ~ and your love will always be true

For I am truly blessed with your memories ~ for some that's not enough
What other choice do I have dear child ~ but to wait and trust in God's undying love

But yes, I still feel cheated ~ because you left us way too young
Even though you've went to Heaven ~ you will always be my son

The changes doesn't matter ~ that my world sees everyday
You were still born from my womb ~ on the afternoon of March 16th, 1983

Even though your vibrant heart stopped beating ~ almost four years ago today
I can still  feel you nestled under my own heart ~ no one can ever take that away

So yes, My Life Went On ~ and these lessons I've learned along the way
Are lessons I'll bring there with me ~ when I join you again one day

Until that day comes upon me ~ I'll take these pain filled heart felt breaths
  I'll remember my most cherished lesson so far ~ is that love is still stronger than death

God Bless You My Son In Heaven
January 20, 2003
Jasper Lives On

Song playing is "Just A Song" by Crosby, Stills & Nash